I have known a number of sociopaths, both male and female – some in romantic contexts, others social or familial. In my experience, they all considered themselves to be intellectually superior – sleek predators, Patrick Batemanesque narcissists, dark duplicitous manipulators – when the reality was that they were – to borrow a wonderful phrase – as thick as shit.
Only two were intellectually remarkable and even then, their emotional poverty and spiritual emptiness amounted to stupidity. Why? Because despite their machinations, their exploitation, their sometimes remarkable bank balances – generally obtained through fraud of some description – and their sometimes astonishingly plausible performances of being human (pretending to care, pretending to love), at the end of the day, all they experienced was rage and emptiness and envy. They target empaths because they hunger for a love they cannot feel.
This is because the sociopath’s life is empty of love. All they understand is how to feign love (platonic, familial, romantic), going through the motions like parrots – they can mimic the sound, but the meaning is lost to them. I remember one saying that the two things women want in relationships are to be made to come and to be made to laugh, and that was it. He literally had no understanding of tenderness, loyalty, respect, protection or caring; his most intense sexual excitement was in the abuse, mockery and diminishment of sexual partners.
Paedophiles and child sex abusers are all, by definition, also sociopathic.
Sociopaths do not understand that truth is the axis of love, having, for the most part, been parented by people who were themselves incapable of love. Parental abandonment through various means is a common theme, resulting in both trauma and an inability to trust. They “act out” this trauma by exploiting the vulnerable as they themselves were exploited when vulnerable, experiencing characteristic glee when they succeed in fleecing others, whether sexually, financially or emotionally. Through such fleecing, they externalise the pain and humiliation they have themselves buried, thereby unburdening themselves by “passing it on”.
The problem? Such feelings cannot be “passed on”, which is why the sociopath must repeatedly hurt, repeatedly damage, repeatedly humiliate, trapped in a hamster wheel of sadism, unwilling – or unable – to access their original anguish in order to process it. Instead, they hurt others – in some cases, fatally – to relieve the pressure of their own unexpressed rage and pain.
Below, further information on the targets sociopaths most love.
“According to the author of The Psychopathic Mind (Meloy), when needing to manipulate a female, the psychopath often targets women who are what is often called the ‘dumb blonde’ type, the kind of woman who exudes naivete, often unconscious of her own sexuality, vapid innocence, often not too bright – their personalities usually border on the Pollyanna-ish, and they always see a silver lining in every cloud. Not that there is anything essentially wrong with innocence or optimism, but when dealing with a psychopath, that can prove a bad combination. Psychopaths seem to be attracted to this type of woman in particular. She is nurturing and all-giving, while he is closed-off and retentive.
“They have ‘an uncanny ability to spot and use nurturant women – that is, those who have a powerful need to help or mother others.’ [Hare, 149].
“As Hare recounts, a particular ‘nurturance-seeking missile’ who had a local reputation for attracting a steady stream of female visitors seemed to have this talent. He was ‘not particularly good-looking or very interesting to talk to. But he had a certain cherubic quality that some women, staff included, seemed to find attractive. One woman commented that she ‘always had an urge to cuddle him.’ Another said that ‘he needs mothering.” [Hare, 149].
“Psychopaths also like to ‘attach’ to women of higher social status, a woman who represents what he would like to be. Then when he is through with her, he can destroy her and ‘kill two birds with one stone.’
“However, regardless of what personality type they go after, everyone is still a target.
“Like the narcissist, the psychopath has an arrogant, disdainful, and patronizing attitude; however, let me make this clear: often in the initial stages of charming someone new, the true character is kept hidden, naturally. That is why, when a woman warns another woman about a psychopathic man, his newest victim will not be able to believe the bad stories about him. ‘But he’s so charming, so kind, so nice …’ and so forth will be her reply.
“Yes. Exactly. He is playing a game with you, too.
“Psychopaths have a grandiose self-structure which demands ‘a scornful and detached devaluation of others’ [Gacon et al 1992], in order to ward off envy toward the good perceived in people. They react towards perceived or existing attachment capacities with ambivalence and often aggression.
“According to Meloy, most of them transfer the attachment to ‘hard objects’ such as weapons, knives, [magical practices] etc. The grandiose self is represented onto the weapon or object and is a projection of themselves. This of course is more in depth study of the psychopath. Not all psychopaths have a gun collection or a favourite knife or sword, but a great deal of them do tend to be fond of weapons and such symbols of aggression and dominance. I’m not sure if this is true in all cases, but one psychopath I knew loved swords. He was obsessed with them and loved weapons of all kinds.”
- Read more here.