This is what happens when you mix pornography with vulnerable people.
It’s not about obscenity or morality; it’s about the destruction of the erotic, the destruction of innocence, the destruction of closeness. Across the board, pornography is destroying our capacity for tenderness. Pornography creates the need for secrecy, the antithesis of intimacy.
Pornography is changing the template of love.
It is now considered acceptable for a man to approach a woman by suggesting some kind of sexual act. As Catharine MacKinnon says, pornography makes promises to men that women are expected to keep. Boys and men request and demand that girls and women submit photographs of their naked bodies: modern courtship. Hospitals are treating nine-year-old girls for anal trauma resulting from the pornographic trope of anal sex. Boys and men are urinating on 14-year-old girls they then call “slag” and “doghead” or spit on or “roast”. Girls and women are expected to put on “shows”, to perform like prostitutes for the titillation of boys and men. Women have their lips inflated so that they can appeal to men by looking “dickalicious”. Men have sex with women not because they like, love or care about them, but because the women are objects to validate their social status. “Hate fucks” are now par for the course.
These acts are referred to in magazines children read in supermarket check-out aisles.
The desensitisation pornography creates in its viewers has led to the increasingly frequent sexual abuse of infants. Men fall down the rabbit hole of pornography, finding themselves masturbating over images of actual violence and abuse. Pornography reduces human beings to masturbatory objects. It is now normal for a boy of fourteen to have viewed not only hundreds of naked women in perverse sexual contexts, but naked women of his mother’s and grandmothers’ ages in perverse sexual contexts, divesting them of all respect and authority.
This is sex in the 21st century.
Whenever you masturbate to pornography, you are saying yes: this is the kind of world I want. If it’s not the kind of world you want, start masturbating over someone you care about instead.